Achievements
A log of all dungeon achievements earned by Carl and Princess Donut through the end of Book 1. Achievements are awarded by the dungeon AI for meeting specific conditions; each includes a flavor description and a reward (often loot boxes or none at all).
Achievements marked Carl or Donut were earned by one crawler; those with no notation were earned by both.
Floor 1 Achievements
Trailblazing Crazy Cat Lady (Donut)
You are the first crawler to have entered to the World Dungeon accompanied by a cat. You must really love that thing. Too bad you're both probably going to die a horrible death at any moment. Or maybe not. Look at the prize you just received!
Reward: Legendary Pet Box
Early Adopter (Carl)
You are one of the first 5,000 Crawlers to enter a new World Dungeon. Sucker.
Reward: Silver Adventurer Box
Empty Pockets (Carl)
You didn't bring any supplies. None. You know you still gotta eat, right?
Reward: Bronze Adventurer Box
Why Aren't You Wearing Pants? (Carl)
You entered the dungeon wearing no pants. Dude. Seriously?
Reward: Gold Apparel Box
Unarmed Combat (Carl)
So. You just gonna waltz right into something called a "World Dungeon" and you're not even going to bring a weapon? You're either braver than you look, or you're just an idiot. Good luck with that, Van Damme.
Reward: Bronze Weapon Box
Loner (Carl)
You entered the dungeon without any human companions. Didn't anyone teach you there is safety in numbers?
Reward: None! Haha. You are so dead.
Fall into an Obvious Trap (Carl)
Reward: Well, if there's a heaven, and if you haven't been too much of an asshole, maybe they'll let you in. Because you about to meet your maker.
(No flavor text beyond the reward line.)
You've Discovered and Read an Official Dungeon Sign (Carl)
Wow. You can read. Whoopie.
Reward: All official dungeon signage highlighted; nearby guilds appear on minimap.
You've Inflicted Damage on a Mob (Carl)
Hopefully it won't hit back!
Reward: It's probably going to hit back.
You've Killed a Mob! (Carl)
You're a murderer! He probably had a family!
Reward: You can now gain experience.
You've Killed an Armed Mob with Your Bare Fucking Hands! (Carl)
Holy crap, dude. That's kinda fucked up.
Reward: Bronze Weapon Box
You've Killed a Mob a Higher Level Than Yourself! (Carl)
You're getting the hang of this. Don't let it get to your head.
Reward: Bronze Adventurer Box
You've Entered a Guildhall! (Carl)
Congratulations. You know how to open doors.
Reward: That sense of fulfillment you feel? That's reward enough.
Podophilia! (Carl)
You've used your bare feet to crush and kill an opponent! Hey! That's my fetish! Seriously. Keep doing it, and you'll be rewarded. This will help.
Reward: Gold Shoe Box (which contained the Enchanted Pedicure Kit of the Sylph)
Boom! (Carl)
You've caused a wall-shaking explosion within the dungeon! The last time the walls shook like this was when your mom came over for a visit.
Reward: Silver Goblin Box
Level-Up, Baby! (Carl)
You've received enough experience to gain a level.
Reward: Leveling up is your job. You don't get rewards for doing your job.
Loot! (Carl)
You're wearing something you found in the dungeon.
Reward: You're now a handsome son of a bitch. That's reward enough.
Oooh, Magic! (Carl)
You're wearing magical gear for the first time! You're a wizard, Crawler!
Reward: Bronze Adventurer Box
Boss Babe (Carl)
You have struck a blow against a dungeon boss and caused damage to it. Here's a fun fact. For crawlers who make it through the tutorial, this achievement is, by far, most often the last achievement they ever receive. Isn't that interesting?
Reward: Let's wait a few minutes before we decide on whether or not to waste a prize on you.
You Monster! (Carl)
You have killed an infant! An infant!
Okay, okay. Unless you're a complete psychopath, we know you probably didn't wake up this morning and tell yourself, "Today is the day I'm going to slaughter a child." Well let us put your mind at ease. All children mobs who die within this dungeon don't actually perish. They're transferred to a holding area where they're safe and treated nicely and gently until they can be reunited with their loving parents at the end of the season.
Feel better? Good.
Reward: These past twenty seconds, when your conscience started to ease? That was your reward. It was also a lie. That baby is dead, and it's dead because of you. You're totally going to hell.
(Note: Carl received this for killing goblin children during the tunnel collapse event.)
War Criminal (Carl)
You have killed more than 20 non-combatants in a single attack!
Question: What's the only thing standing between an innocent child and a happy, fulfilling life?
Answer: You. The answer is you.
Reward: Gold Asshole's Box
Two Chicks at the Same Time (Carl)
You killed two mobs at once using only their own bodies against each other. On a brutality scale of Bambi to Martyrs, that is a solid Seven.
Reward: Gold Brawler Box
Borough Boss!
So, you've stumbled into the chamber of the second-weakest type of boss. If you survive this, it means you are in the top 5% of all crawlers. Too bad only the top .25% make it past the next tier.
Reward: Yeah, no.
Bully and a Thief! (Carl)
You've stolen property from a fellow crawler who is a lower level than you. What's next, tough guy? Kicking puppies?
Reward: Bronze Asshole's Box
(Earned for inadvertently taking Agatha's shopping cart into inventory during the Ball of Swine boss fight.)
Battlefield Construction! (Carl)
You built a structure and deployed it in battle. And your mother thought you were wasting your life away while you spent all those hours eating Doritos and playing Minecraft. If only she could see you now. Too bad she's probably dead.
Reward: Silver Mechanic's Box
This Little Piggy Went to Market! (Carl) (the AI uses its "sexy voice" for this one)
Oh yeah, baby. You have killed more than five opponents during boss battles using your bare feet. You are making daddy very, very happy.
Reward: Platinum Shoe Box
You Found Stairs!
You have found a stairwell down to the next floor. They say the cream rises to the top. So what does that say about you?
Reward: This barely qualifies as an achievement. Your reward is that you're alive to read this.
Floor 2 Achievements
Dungeonpreneur (Carl)
You have invented a stackable weapon, device, or potion. You will be memorialized for eternity with your name in the Dungeon Codex. Just don't let it go to your head, Elon.
Reward: For every kill made with this device by other crawlers, you will receive a single gold coin. If you survive the dungeon, you will continue to receive this benefit—even during future seasons—at the current gold to credit exchange rate for the remainder of your natural life. Our lawyers made us put that last part in, but between you and me, we both know you're going to die, and we're going to keep using your hard work for our own benefit.
(Earned for inventing Carl's Jug O' Boom.)
What Goes Up... (Carl)
You have been struck with and survived the dreaded Reverse Gravity Spell. Well, you fared better than Albert II, the first earth mammal to reach space alive. He was a rhesus monkey, in case you're wondering. He went up just fine. He didn't stick the landing.
Reward: You can now tell people you're more durable than a monkey named Albert.
Like a Moth to the Flame
You attacked and caused damage to a mob that is more than 75 levels above your own. The fact that you're reading this suggests you're the luckiest fucker in the dungeon. Just remember, luck goes both ways, like your mom.
Reward: Platinum Lucky Bastard Box (contained a lottery scratch-off ticket)
Grease Monkey! (Carl)
Don't get ahead of yourself, Dale. You built and deployed a wheeled device. When the primitive humans in Mesopotamia made the first wheel, they probably thought they were hot shit, too. It still took them another 5,000 years after that to invent the toilet.
Reward: Silver Mechanic's Box
You Call That a Trap? (Carl)
A mob has been injured because of something you purposely left lying around the dungeon. From scattered Legos to spiked pits to buckets of flesh-devouring Skinner Ants to dimensional rifts that instantly boil all the blood in one's body, the art of trapmaking has a celebrated and storied history in the annals of Dungeon Crawler World.
So if you're going to do it, you better do it right. Whatever it was that gave you this achievement, it was probably something stupid. This will help you make the next trap more… exciting.
Remember: If you don't make it titillating, we will.
Reward: Gold Sapper's Box
I'll Take the Ceramic Dalmatian, Pat!
You have discovered a reward room! Scattered throughout the dungeon, reward rooms offer crawlers items generally not available within loot boxes. Most reward rooms only allow one choice. So, if you're in a party of multiple people, tell them I said you should get the prize, not them.
Reward: Don't be a greedy bitch. The goddamned room is the reward.
Menagerie! (Donut)
You have discovered a pet reward room. From caterpillars who secrete vodka to basilisks who can turn mobs to stone, a good pet can make the difference between survival and the end of the road. Just remember what happened with Harambe. There ain't no zookeepers around to shoot the monster's ass if you bite off more than you can chew.
Reward: A key. It opens only one cage.
(Donut used this key to select Mongo.)
PETA Enthusiast! (Carl)
You somehow managed to remove the hostility of an aggravated, non-sapient enemy. That enemy then fought against other enemies to your benefit. The ghost of Steve Irwin smiles down upon you.
Reward: I SAID THE GHOST OF STEVE IRWIN SMILES DOWN UPON YOU.
Citations
Book 1, Chapters 2, 5, 6, 11, 19, 25, 30, 35, 39, 41, 46, 47