Ralph (Frenzied Gerbil)
Overview​
Ralph is a Level 11 Neighborhood Boss on Floor 2 — a champion pit fighter who is, physically, a fist-sized gerbil with a jaw that opens impossibly wide. He is the sole survivor of a family of gerbils abandoned by a child; the resulting trauma and starvation drove him to cannibalism and an all-consuming hatred of humanity.
System Description​
Before we send you off to certain death, it's time for a short history lesson.
When the Black Death swept through 14th century Europe, killing upwards of 200 million people and forever altering the course of human history, one of the original culprits of the epidemic was said to be the black rat, carrying plague-infested fleas into population centers to wreak their destruction.
This is, in fact, not true. The true perpetrator was actually the Asian great gerbil, who took advantage of the warmer climate to travel the silk road and bring the disease into Europe.
This is only important to know because Ralph, champion pit fighter of the kobold training grounds, lives his life in a perpetual state of rage. Why? Because he feels that human death toll of 200 million is much too low, and he will do everything in his power to triple that number.
Starting with you.
The only survivor of a family of gerbils left to starve by a child who'd grown bored with the pets, Ralph had to commit unspeakable acts of cannibalism in order to endure.
Part earth rodent, part the embodiment of death, Frenzied Gerbils are regular mobs one might encounter on the fifth or seventh floors. But Ralph here is special. He has dedicated his existence to fighting and training in hopes that one day he might exact his revenge against the humans he so despises.
He is fast, he is angry, and by the time you're done reading this, he's already halfway to your jugular.
You might want to duck.
Stats​
| Attribute | Value |
|---|---|
| Level | 11 |
| Type | Neighborhood Boss |
| Floor | 2 |
| Chapter | 45 |
Description​
Physically a fist-sized gerbil — almost absurdly cute. The exception is his jaw, which defies all logic: when Ralph screams, his mouth opens wide enough to fit a human head inside, filled with frenzied gnashing teeth. Trained by Kobolds as a pit fighter. Extraordinarily fast — launched from his carrier before the intro description even finished.
Boss Room​
A Kobold fighting arena with:
- A pimped-out Kobold owner
- Multiple Kobold handlers
- Dozens of caged, injured Danger Dingoes
- Additional creature cages around the arena perimeter
Trick​
The Danger Dingoes in the room were enslaved but could be freed. Carl and Donut had previously fed one injured Dingo through the bars, earning its trust. When Carl's Boom Jug killed most of the Kobolds, the surviving Kobold freed all the Dingoes — who then turned on their former masters. The one-eyed Dingo that had been fed swallowed Ralph whole before he could be a serious threat.
Outcome​
Swallowed whole by a liberated Danger Dingo. Ralph then re-emerged (the boss wasn't yet dead), but was quickly finished off by Carl.
Loot: Neighborhood boss loot boxes, including the Heal Critter tome for Donut and a Potion of Determine Value for Carl.
Citations​
Book 1, Chapter 45